#120: Mel Sims – Neurodivergent Coaching, and How to be Unpolished, Scuffed and Brilliant
When Mel Sims discovered coaching, she was adamant that nobody could understand her life. Her journey into coaching allowed her to put down the mask, harness her strengths, and re-emerge into the world as a neurodivergent emotional coach.
Mel trained as a coach while learning about herself through the lens of an ADHD diagnosis. As well as offering her a pathway of personal growth, these experiences helped Mel find her niche through the realisation that neurodivergent people need a particular coaching approach.
In this episode of The Coach’s Journey Podcast, Mel speaks to host Joey Owen about different styles of emotional communication, and the many ways in which people can be misunderstood. She talks about how being an “unpolished” coach enables her to offer a space where people can let go of their need hide their feelings and be guided by an authentic intuition.
Mel offers several brilliant metaphors and visualisation techniques that illuminate this episode, such as the idea of wearing a colander on your head as a way to filter information, and thinking of neurodivergent minds as stars that have become more visible in our world of modern telescopes and greater understanding.
The challenges of time management, rest and staying grounded are explored in this episode as Mel describes how she tailors coaching to people who might need alternative approaches to scheduling, flexibility, communication and depth.
Mel and Joey also talk about:
The intuitive, bordering-on-magical connection that neurodivergent people share having navigated shared challenges
How to make space for emotional outpourings that can have a transformative impact in coaching sessions
A psychological technique that enables a kinder, more compassionate approach to self-coaching
How to own your weak spots and set healthy expectations
Mel also explains why she starts some of her inspirational coaching talks wearing a snorkel, a diving mask and a pair of flippers!
For more information about Mel, visit: https://melsimslifecoach.co.uk or @theadhdhummingbird on Facebook and Instagram
For more information about host Joey Owen, visit http://www.joeyowencoaching.com/
Read more about The Coach's Journey at www.thecoachsjourney.com
Music by My Good Man William: listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4KmeQUcTbeE31uFynHQLQg
To support the Coach's Journey, visit www.patreon.com/thecoachsjourney and to join the Coach's Journey Community visit www.thecoachsjourney.com/community.
THINGS WE TALKED ABOUT THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN:
- Robbie Swale’s 12-Minute Method books https://www.robbieswale.com/the-12minute-books
- Ruth Kudzi https://www.ruthkudzi.com/
- ICF https://coachingfederation.org/
- John Demartini https://drdemartini.com/
- Calendly https://calendly.com/
- Meta Business Suite https://www.facebook.com/business/tools/meta-business-suite
- Inside Our Minds with Chris Packham https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0bbnh47
- Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) https://emdrassociation.org.uk/
- Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/
- Transactional Analysis https://www.simplypsychology.org/transactional-analysis-eric-berne.html
- Episode #116 of The Coach’s Journey Podcast, on the importance of having your own coach https://www.thecoachsjourney.com/podcast/116-why-hiring-a-coach-is-the-most-important-investment-youll-make-in-your-coaching-business
- Patience https://www.channel4.com/programmes/patience
LINKS FROM MEL:
- My favourite ‘emotions in individuals’ viewing https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/p0b8kmch/couples-therapy
- Shame and ADHD https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002c6bb
- Being different and anxious as an Autistic person - https://www.channel4.com/programmes/are-you-autistic
Free additional training for coaches with Positive Intelligence (do the test first to see what your Sabateurs are) https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
- Discovering your values quiz (I realised my ad agency days and working with under 5’s was all about loving helping people) https://drdemartini.com/pl/play?url=%2Fwhat-are-values%2F
- Great book on RSD (hating people being cross with you) https://atlantic-books.co.uk/book/the-courage-to-be-disliked/
- And another one written by a brilliant ADHD podcast host https://www.sheldonpress.co.uk/titles/alex-partridge/why-does-everybody-hate-me/9781399827843/
BIOGRAPHY FROM MEL
I was diagnosed in 2020 at 48, with ADHD through Right to Choose. I had always felt different but I was successful and popular, so how could I moan? I now also see autistic traits in myself with sensory issues due to my ADHD being more accepted by myself. Funny, when one gets quieter, the other gets louder. 70 per cent of ADHDrs are AuDHD, the combination of the two – which is loud!
I had burnt out four times. Turns out it was overwhelm. First one was at 13 when I was bullied and then again crashed at University in Sheffield and Zaragoza. So young… if only I had known!! The shame of being in the messy closet, makes you mad..
I became a Media Buyer at London ad agencies in my 20s, and directed an agency group and large staff teams in my 30s. I set up a successful under 5s hospitality business as an entrepreneur with a baby in tow in my 40s, and then COVID hit, so we had to close. Eight staff furloughed. I hated not working and soothed with vin blanc, so, very ADHD style. I solved that by throwing myself into developing a popular low alcohol Gin.
Over COVID and with my new ADHD diagnosis and experience in coaching my staff, I decided I wanted to be professionally qualified, to help adults and children with their emotional regulation, as well as those who were ‘different’. I chose ICF as a professional body, which is the gold standard in international coaching, and finally I feel the most authentic and unmasked that I ever have.
I have over 800 hours of coaching under my belt and I have coached hundreds of clients. I work with individuals (adults and young people), groups, organisations and employees. I also accept clients through Access To Work.
I am friendly, warm, direct and intuitive. Contact me for a FREE 20-minute discovery chat.